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{Fic} Stay (Awake) With Me | 10/10

Masterpost

Epilogue: ____

The first thing Sam heard upon waking up three days later was Crowley shouting vehement curses about unwieldy crutches. Dean later recounted a detailed outline of Crowley's recovery and expressed his disbelief that Sam could sleep through all the shouting. Demons might heal quickly, but Crowley wouldn't be waltzing around any time soon with roughly a dozen fractures in his leg.

Gabriel assured that the days of sleep and Sam's continued lethargy were to be expected. Sam hated that he only had energy for a few hours before dozing off again, but Gabriel took advantage of those complaints to encourage Sam to eat everything the angel presented with the promise that nourishment equaled liveliness. Dean eagerly joined in and cajoled his brother to eat up, although he usually snuck off with extra food.

Sam's sense of time had been off for a while but things became more surreal as he spent almost as much time asleep as he did awake. He fell asleep in the middle of doing things so many activities were vetoed, much to his annoyance. Gabriel teased him about it with a gentle grin. He seemed fond of curling up next to Sam during his naps.

Sam didn't press for answers right away. He waited for some of his energy to return and Dean's protective streak to lighten up so that his brother wasn't constantly hovering around him. Gabriel didn't talk much about details of recent events, which left Sam to piece together Dean's disjointed storytelling with what he could pick up from others' comments. He felt pretty sure that he knew the big things, the highlights, but he also had a hazy memory of Raphael implying that Gabriel as well as Sam had further healing to be done.

Once he felt sure he wouldn't fall asleep in the middle of the conversation, Sam pulled Gabriel aside and addressed the issue.

"Ooh, serious face," Gabriel observed.

"So you haven't told me what this last step is in the 'fixing Sam Winchester' process," Sam blurted out.

The archangel sighed and pushed Sam to sit on the edge of the bed. Gabriel pulled out the desk chair to sit in front of him. "It's not all about a 'fixing' thing. I mean, I can totally help with making sure your soul's full healed, and I will! But..." He frowned as his gaze dropped.

"I vaguely remember when Raphael was... sorting my head out." Sam reached out to cover Gabriel's fidgeting hands. "I know there's more to it – whatever 'it' is. The... healing goes both ways, right? This... maybe it isn't something you want to do?" Sam said hesitantly.

"No. I know I want to." Gabriel looked up and quirked a smile. "What Raph suggested is bonding. It's not exactly something you'd do with just anyone, though, and maybe it's a bigger thing than you can really comprehend."

With a grin, Sam suggested, "Then explain it in words that even Dean could understand on his dumb days."

Gabriel laughed. He turned his hands so that he could hold onto Sam. "Okay. In small part, it's kind of like a... hmm, a weird mutual blood transfusion? I'd share my grace with you and you'd be sharing your soul."

"That's a small part?" Sam asked a little breathlessly.

"Right. That's a big part," Gabriel corrected with a grimace of embarrassment. "I mean, one option is that I share a little of my grace, make sure it settles in to help you heal, and then we move on as we've been."

"But this bonding thing... I would open my soul to you."

"Basically." Gabriel attempted a casual shrug. "So, there would be the grace-soul thing. But you have to understand that the whole 'immortal soul' thing? It is what it says on the label. Human souls aren't necessarily predisposed to immortal memory so they don't usually remember beyond certain points. If they've spent more than one mortal lifetime on Earth, few souls realize it."

"And that changes if we bond."

"Yes. There are... soul mates, as you know, though that's only between mortals. This is a little... more. Plus it's unexplored territory." Gabriel licked his lips. "I'm an archangel, you're a human. Neither of us is exactly the model of normalcy and we're a bit dented and worn."

"But we could do this. Bond," Sam checked.

Gabriel paused before slowly nodding. He looked bemused, as if he hadn't expected Sam to respond calmly. "You get that this isn't a Vegas wedding you get annulled a month later, right?"

Sam laughed a little. "Yeah. I know it's not like that. I'll admit I'm not quite sure what it is, so I..." He made sure they had eye contact before continuing, "I'm not going to answer right now. I'm going to think about it, okay? I know you've been thinking about it and I'm not going to let you worry that I'm giving you some kneejerk reaction. If I have questions...?"

"Uh..." Looking stunned, Gabriel took a few moments to answer. "Well, I can maybe clear some things up?"

"Do you think I could talk to Raphael?"

"I think I'd like to see his reaction," the angel replied with a smirk. "I have the feeling you might just impress him."

Sam felt the start of nervous excitement setting in. With a shy smile he said, "Then I'd like to talk to him as soon as I can." He leaned in to kiss his lover. I won't make you wait too long, he promised silently. Sam knew he had to find out a little more and think about the consequences of his decision, but he knew that a large part of him had already committed to the bond.

Besides, exercising some self-restraint and showing that he was putting the time in to think about things would give him some much-needed leverage in convincing protective family members – both his and Gabriel's – that the commitment would be genuine.

Sam could feel Gabriel grinning against his lips.

*****


Thank-you's and notes


Thoughts on the end: So this was not what I imagined the final scene to look like. I've had so many notes regarding endings for this story-verse in the past year. Some sort of "bonding" has always been in my mind, so I figured that's where I could end up when all was said and done. I had vague ideas about some details when I got my first working draft of the sequel done but then I took a long break. When I came back, in something of a panic, to wrap this up... Well, the characters took mercy on me by writing themselves. However, as characters are wont to do, they had a mind of their own and left me with this.

It may not be where you want it to end. I wasn't sure what to think at first, but I quickly realized that I like wrapping this fic here. I felt rushed with many scenes in this story and I know I cut corners to get the larger vision out to show you. This is certainly a 'verse/series that has many openings for time stamps and fillers. If I'm unable to get to nothing else, I do intend to some day write a bonding scene/fic for this series. Don't expect it immediately, but know that it is something I want to do. My OTP deserves a thoroughly sealed happy ending.


Thank you for reading!

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
race_the_ace
Jul. 25th, 2012 08:43 am (UTC)
Really enjoyed this. :)
enmuse
Jul. 26th, 2012 03:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D That's great to hear
mangacrack
Jul. 25th, 2012 09:21 am (UTC)
Oh Love You So Much For This Sequel! ^_^

Putting nice!Raphael as a warning, lol ... but I appreciate it. Raphael needs some positive character streaks. Yet somehow, I enjoyed the insane Michael at most. His turning is unexpected and that Raphael will try to heal him ... I'm astonished. Perhaps the angels are finally if slowly grapsing the whole "free will" thing.

the end, of course, brings me back to the point that there no storys about Gabriel and Sam, when they bonded and Sam gets reborn. Most fics and verses end with bonding sex. Not that I don't enjoy it, but still *want to read a rebirth fic set in the future*

But gratulations for writing such a glorious sequel in the first place. I really should try to pin for more ^^'...
enmuse
Jul. 26th, 2012 03:33 pm (UTC)
I glad you liked it :) Raphael sort of wrote himself and I like how it turned out. Michael... was interesting to write. And caused me a lot of heartache as I debated over what happened to Adam in this 'verse (and i know what happened, not, but it never made it into the fic.)

Thanks for commenting! :D
seventhstrike
Jul. 30th, 2012 12:18 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for writing this! I really enjoyed reading all of this. I really liked your characterization of Gabriel and seeing Raphael in this context made sense. God is kind of a jerk though. :>

Also, Crobby is a secret delight of mine, so I liked seeing it in the background.
enmuse
Jul. 30th, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for the kind words ^_^ (I'm flopped here with a horrible sinus/head cold that's making me miserable so it's especially nice to see a fic comment right now!)

I'm glad Raphael worked well here, he just got into my head early on as quite different from canon and then I was reading up on angelic lore - which was hilarious to compare. xD Also, I'm quite fond of Crobby too. I think they need to lurk around my stories more often.
seventhstrike
Jul. 30th, 2012 11:42 pm (UTC)
You're welcome! Fic comments are the best comments of them all, especially for sinus colds! c:

Ooh I am doing some reading on angelic lore for a fic and there isn't a whole lot for the angel I'm including. I am going to have to pick up my Qur'an again and see if I can find anything there oeoeoe.

I think Crobby is the most successful lurk!pairing of them all. After Mark Sheppard kept showing the picture of Bobby & Crowley, I shipped them a little bit in my head for forever. :>
bombom_mamasita
Aug. 6th, 2012 11:13 pm (UTC)
Just finished reading this and I have to thank you for writing such a wonderful story and sharing it with all of us.

It broke my heart how desperate both Gabriel and Dean were and how almost hopeless Sam felt D: But I'm so glad everything was okay in the end, well not okay but things got better.

And now I'm left worrying over what happened to Adam. It always breaks me.
enmuse
Sep. 3rd, 2012 04:29 am (UTC)
(Somehow I missed this reply because I swear I don't remember reading it til now! Maybe it was while LJ was being weird with notifications >_> ANYWAY.)

Thank you so much for the comment! This was a heck of a ride to write and ultimately it's still missing a lot. Over time, as inspiration strikes and hopefully as I sway in and out of fandom ('cuz I'm a bit on the "outs" right now, not involved deeply with any) I'm hoping to write missing scenes and extra bits to the series. Including my headcanon for what happened to Adam in this 'verse. (Well... I could go two ways with it here, but in either case, Adam was not in the Cage.)
(Deleted comment)
enmuse
Sep. 3rd, 2012 04:39 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for the comment! :) It was really tricky to write and there are indeed pieces that I have a fairly good idea about but haven't been shaped into fic yet. (Bonding's a big one, but also would like to include my thoughts on Adam in this 'verse.) Not sure when all that might take place (I'm not really in any fandom a.t.m. since I started full-time work) but it is in the plans! I have detailed notes so I won't forget the core ideas. ;)

Really appreciate the note! Thank you~!
m14mouse
Sep. 25th, 2012 01:53 am (UTC)
I finally got around to reading the final results especially the ending you never show me. Anyway, I enjoyed working with you. Great work and I am so proud of you! ^__^
enmuse
Sep. 25th, 2012 01:58 am (UTC)
;;^^ Well I hope it was a reasonably good surprise to read, then. :3 Thanks so much for your work with me and listening to my flailing. This story was so troublesome @_@ *hugs*
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )