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Oh my dear lord. I have to do a flyby post because of some truly terrible “cover letters” and resumes received today. Look, I know I’m picky, but I think in this case even people with a lick of common sense would realize THESE ARE AWFUL.

So FFS, listen to me on some basic tips before your job application gets tossed out the window:


  1. Never, ever start with “To whom it may concern” unless you have tried everything to find a specific name. (I.E. Certainly do not do an anonymous header when the name of the person you’re writing to IS IN THE GODDAMN JOB DESCRIPTION)

  2. Look up some cover letter examples. Read up on what you should include. At the very least: give a summary of yourself and connect your experiences/skills with the org/company/position you’re applying to.

  3. Do not force yourself to stay on a single page for a resume if it means sacrificing details of your experiences.

  4. Tell me what your damn position was, not just the name of the company/org you worked for.

  5. Explain/give examples of “varying experiences” and “various skills” cuz that tells me jack.

  6. Do not mention your free time hobby when it has no relevance to the position. (I.E. Don’t tell me you fucking knit and crochet, which has you doing an independent business -- etsy? -- when you’re applying for an education management position.)

  7. TARGET. YOUR. MATERIALS. I read about this a lot before I ever was in a position to hire. Now that I’m going into my second round of hiring for a position - fuck yes this is true. I’m honestly a little more flexible with the cover letter. I mean, make sure you’re identifying that you’re applying for the specific position, but your resume... Oh. My. God. TARGET YOUR RESUME. Cut the shit that has no relevance. DO NOT LIST AN OBJECTIVE/TARGET/GOAL/whatever with something that has little or nothing to do with the position you’re applying for. (I.E. “Seeking Customer Service position” when you’re applying for a goddamn Education Program Manager position.)

*deep breath* I told my coworker today that I didn’t believe my boss last year when he said that he looked at my resume and it was the only one that looked good. (There’s a story here but it’s tedious.) Looking at the three applicants I received today, holy shit, maybe I do believe him now. I pray we see some halfway decent candidates in the next two weeks that this posting is open.

It was ridiculously painful to read these this afternoon when I worked my ass off all last week (9-12 hours) writing my cover letter and redoing my resume for a position I'd like.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
enigmaticblues
Jul. 23rd, 2015 01:10 am (UTC)
I was interviewing people recently, and yeah, TARGET YOUR MATERIALS is right. GAH. So many resumes that are three or four pages long with every single job they've ever had since high school. NO.
enmuse
Jul. 23rd, 2015 01:55 am (UTC)
*flails* Right? The person with the decent cover letter and... well, decent start of a resume, didn't list his positions at the orgs he listed - so I'm like "What? Have you ever worked with adults?" Has he managed? I DO NOT KNOW FROM EITHER THE LETTER OR RESUME.

The chick I just barely restrained myself from faceplanting onto the desk. *snorts* "To whom it may concern..." Dear lord. And... seriously, she mentioned her hobby of crocheting and how she's selling them....? IDEK. But so inappropriate to what's being looked at.

I think I'll be writing to her with some WTF? and tips. The guy I'll probably have some follow-up questions before deciding whether or not to even try an interview.

Crossing my fingers that today's batch was the worst we get. I just have to remind myself: two more weeks of the posting open. And... I won't have to put up with the new person, if worse comes to worse. XD
timewithers
Jul. 23rd, 2015 01:16 am (UTC)
I don't understand why resumes and cover letters appear to be so difficult. I researched when I applied to my job and got my resume properly done by someone. At my place, I'm getting resumes with the objective being "Full time Chef" or something completely unrelated to a gas station attendant. But it is just so wonderful that they play basketball.

Don't envy you at all. Good luck dealing with all of that.
enmuse
Jul. 23rd, 2015 01:58 am (UTC)
lmao If anything... at least I get some laughter?

I understand that these things are difficult, but I can tell when there's some actual effort put into things. I'm luckily not wading through huge piles of applications so I will take the time to read all the cover letters/emails and resumes, so there's two chances to make an impression! Just a wee bit of effort and I might give the person a chance. (Heck, I did give someone an interview while hiring for a teacher last fall even though she had clear weaknesses in her docs. The interview revealed that she would be someone I'd have considered with a bit more experience.)

Anyway. People are speshul.
timewithers
Jul. 23rd, 2015 02:39 am (UTC)
That's a good point. I love the ones that can't seem to proof read their resumes too.

It is so obvious if they get a resume and cover letter done and just mass print them for places rather than actually taking the time and effort to research where they're applying to or even to just put in any effort. People don't seem to realize that if they can't put an effort in that, that is essentially the first impression of them and the work that they will put out. Especially since, most people don't or can't take the time to read everything thoroughly. They're pretty lucky that you're in a position right now that you can.

So very speshul.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )