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Examples of insane sprint writing

As horrified as I am at the utter lack of progress on anything useful, I realize that it might be helpful and maybe even encouraging to post the craziness of the latest 30-minute sprint. Here are 7 different scenarios that my poor brain and the innocent characters of The Mentalist were just put through. This is being aired to the public to let you know that this kind of crazy? It's actually totally okay during NaNoWriMo. You just keep on plowing on.

You know how many words I wrote? 1,269 in thirty minutes. Yeah. Crazy.


Cho glanced down at his watch and resisted the urge to sigh. Another day passing slowly. Boring. For some reason everything had been boring as of late. That didn't make any sense. This was the CBI! They were men (and women) of action! Not superheroes, of course, but certainly they were out and about and busy. Busy even if it meant paperwork, but even that was non existent. Cho frowned at his desk and wondered how he had no paperwork.

He glanced around, noticing that Van Pelt and Rigsby seemed to be fixated on something at their computers. They looked normal enough. He couldn't see Lisbon from his position and he debated standing up to go check on her. Debated standing up? Since when did he consciously think about making a movement?

"You're thinking too loud."

Cho blinked and sat back in surprise when he found Jane sitting in front of him on the desk.

"What?"

"You," Jane emphasized by poking his finger at Cho's chest, "are thinking too loud."

"I'm thinking too much," Cho corrected with a frown. "Do you know what's going on?"

Jane looked around and apparently dismissed the oddity of Rigsby and Van Pelt continuing their typing. "Should something be going on?"

"You do know this is weird. Right?" Cho checked.

With a shrug and a grin, Jane waved off the worry. "What should it matter? Everyone's distracted..."

Cho remained blank faced. "So?"

Jane's grin widened into something predatory as he leaned in and tugged gently on Cho's tie. "So, let's take advantage of the situation."

Cho didn't even get the first word of "what the fuck?" out before Jane kissed him.

---

"Oh my god, this is hell."

Rigsby wrapped an arm around Van Pelt's shoulders and told her bravely, "We'll get through this, I promise."

"I'm not sure I want to know what's going on," the redhead nearly cried against his shoulder. "It's been too horrible to watch. Just knock me out. My nightmares have to be better than this."

"Grace..." Rigsby sighed and hugged her close.

---

"Is no place safe?" Lisbon screamed.

Van Pelt glanced up from washing her hands and realized something was very wrong when her boss started shouting randomly – particularly in the ladies room.

"Um... boss? Lisbon?" The red head stepped back to glance at the stall doors.

A flushing toilet preceded Lisbon's appearance. The CBI's face was flushed with rage as she stormed to the sinks and rigorously started washing her hands. "God damn it, where the hell are her muses? I'm sick of this intrusion!"

Van Pelt eyed the ceiling nervously and whispered, "Disembodied lady?"

Lisbon whirled around, sprinkling Van Pelt with water from her waving hands. "Of course! Who else would be hounding our every step? Changing the damn scene every few minutes? Invading the god damn bathroom! Please! Someone sacrifice muses and a pile of plot bunnies."

Van Pelt considered that for a long moment before admitting, "Boss, I don't know what a plot bunny is."

"Shit."

---

"Oh, please, get out of here." Cho turned onto his stomach and covered his head with a pillow.

Jane opened a bleary eye and glanced around the room. He closed his eye again and snorted softly. "She's back."

Cho's voice was muffled. "Yes."

The blond stretched overdramatically, making sure that the sheet dropped a little lower down his torso to flash some skin. He smirked when he realized she'd noticed.

Cho smacked Jane on the chest. "Show off," he accused, face still buried.

"Don't suffocate yourself," Jane chided. He rolled over so that he half blanketed Cho's naked body.

"Oh god, did you really have to draw attention to the nudity?"

"But that's so much fun! You never know when we might get the chance for more sex."

"Oh hell no." Cho struggled onto his side and started pushing at Jane's chest. "My bedroom. No intruders. I am not into threesomes."

Jane rolled onto his back as he started laughing. Irritated, Cho pushed himself up onto his elbows and glared at his lover. "What's wrong with you?" he asked crossly.

"I think you embarrassed her."

Cho grumbled something and crawled back under his pillow.

---

Van Pelt muffled a sigh. "Really? Why? Why are you doing this?" She directed her futile question at the ceiling, ignoring the strange looks of the other coworkers.

Rigsby took a quick glance around before coming over to lean against her desk. "It's happening again?" he whispered.

Van Pelt glared balefully at him. "You don't need to keep your voice down, she's getting all of this down. It just won't stop."

Rigsby frowned up at the ceiling. "Didn't Lisbon have an idea?"

"Yeah, involving Muses and something called plot bunnies."

Rigsby looked at her with a look of total confusion, "Bunnies? What does that have to do with anything?"

"No freaking clue," Van Pelt said with a sigh.

Rigsby noticed a lull in the insanity and leaned in. "Quick! I think she's getting a sip of tea! RUN!"

---

"I can see through you, see your true colors, see through the real you."

"What? Are you singing?"

"It's a popular song, don't you know it?"

"Yes. But that wasn't what I was asking. I said What? Are you singing? Not What are you singing?"

"What's the difference?"

"Did you not hear the different inflection? I can't believe you were singing."

"Oh. Well, no one else will have to know, now do they?"

"Of course they—Oh. Right. No identifiers. Nice going."

"Why thank you."

"Don't take a bow, then everyone will know."

---

"Holy crap how does someone with utter nonsense for 934 words and counting?"

"939 as that was typed."

"Seriously, we shouldn't encourage this," Lisbon said. "And there's a typo up there for 'nonsense.'"

She and Van Pelt waited for the correction to be made not only for the first mention of "nonsense" but also for the second.

"Wow. This is just... pathetic."

"I don't see any end in sight," Lisbon said with a sigh.

Van Pelt grimaced. "Well, six minutes. But I know what you mean. We really need to figure out this plot bunny thing."

Jane walked onto the scene. "Plot bunnies are the (usually rabid) ideas that bite at authors' heels. I don't think that's the problem here. In this case, there are plenty of ideas running rampant. There doesn't seem to be one with a particularly rabid drive to bite, however. Or, rather, not one that bites and sinks its teeth in deep enough not to get shaken off."

They waited a moment as "rampant" was retyped to be the correct spelling.

"Then what is this?" Van Pelt asked.

"Limbo," an unfamiliar (or perhaps slightly familiar) blond said as he walked through the scene. No one had a chance to question his identity as he disappeared from view.

"Like things aren't already weird enough..." Lisbon muttered.

"As I was saying, I don't think a lack of plot vermin are the problem." Jane continued, "A distinct lack of muse involvement, however, could be the problem. Apparently Muses not only inspire and cultivate the plot bunnies, they also work to control in-characterness, which now happens to be a word. Additionally they maintain a writer's ability to keep typing or pushing the writing utensil along the page. It's a major job that usually more than one Muse must take on."

"So where the hell are these muses?" Lisbon demanded. "I won't stand for another intrusion on my privacy!"

Jane laughed. "That's the thing, my dear Teresa, these Muses and plot bunnies are working together to get into our heads."

"Oh fuck me," Lisbon cursed.


And I really don't know why head!Lisbon likes to curse so much. She's actually taken to doing that in the actual fics I'm working on, too. o.0

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
enmuse
Oct. 12th, 2010 04:30 am (UTC)
;;;;;;;;;^_^

Torture! Pure torture to have such a strong urge to write and yet realize I've gotten nowhere! (Seriously, the story I worked on yesterday? 10K words but there's... there's no point! It's just... I don't even know.)
heffermonkey
Oct. 19th, 2010 06:52 pm (UTC)
THIS is just hilarious - and I am using it as an excuse to avoid writing myself - THUS I thank you for helping me procrastinate AND laugh at the same time.

not sure i can put a long comment to this - not really weirded out by what goes in that head of yours through word sprints though - which should be worrying because these sort of fics are slightly on the cracked in the brain side of things.

BUT you managed to get in head canon so I cannot find any flaws within this head space fic.
enmuse
Oct. 19th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
HA! Well, glad I'm amusing a couple people. :p

BUT you managed to get in head canon so I cannot find any flaws within this head space fic.

LOL well it's in my head so it figures "head cannon" has to be present, yeah?

(P.S. thanks for the long note about the what-is-this story! Started some rework of it last night! <3)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )