Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

{Fic} Whazzup my homies? (1/1) | MCU | Gen

Title: Whazzup my homies? (AO3)
Author: enmuse
Fandom: MCU
Rating: All (though use of word "bitches")
Genre: Humor
Summary: Darcy teaches Thor how to text
Written for a fill to this comment_fic request

Sent to Multiple Recipients: Whazzup bitches

Clint tapped to his texts screen as Steve pulled his phone from his pocket. Clint just arched his eyebrow. Steve's expression scrunched in consternation.

"What is Thor doing?"

Clint shrugged as he tapped in a quick reply. "Checking in on his 'bitches' apparently."

Steve cast him an exasperated look.


Sent to Black Widow: gong 2 club l8r want 2 come?

Natasha narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the message that had just come up on her phone. A few moments later she dialed Coulson.

"Code blue, we need eyes on Thor."


Sent to Man of Iron: aliens got rekt. party @ ur place

Tony arched an eyebrow at the text flashing at the corner of his HUD. "Who's been exposing our resident demigod to texting?" he wondered aloud.

"Sir, it would appear Miss Lewis has been assisting Master Odinson with... 'proper lingo' to utilize with such communications," JARVIS replied with a clear tone of distaste.

Tony chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Of course she is."


Sent to Dr. Banner: whats cookin goodlookin

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose as he set aside his phone. The message may have been noted as coming from Thor but he recognized that phrasing.

"Jane," he called across the lab.

The brunette straightened up from her computer station and turned to look at him. "Did Tony say when he'd be free?" she asked hopefully.

"He hasn't replied yet." Bruce pointed at his phone. "Don't you think Darcy's having a little too much influence on Thor's communications etiquette?"

Jane grimaced. "Is that why everyone's phones are pinging lately?"

Bruce blinked at her. "You haven't been getting any texts?"

Looking instantly wary, Jane replied slowly, "No..."


Sent to Fury: ahoy matey

Sent to Son of Coul: wtf is with that tie

Sent to Eye of Hawk: sup broman

Sent to Dr. Banner: so much ust btwn steve&tony can cut w/ knife

Sent to Black Widow: want 2 hit day spa?

Sent to Man of Iron: u.--

"Alright, that's enough." Jane plucked the phone from Thor's hands, though she'd focused her glare on Darcy.

"I was in the midst of sending an important missive to the Man of Iron," Thor lamented.

"Not now, Thor," Jane said. She pointed an accusing finger at Darcy, "You've been spamming all of Thor's contacts. What is this ridiculous text speak, anyway? You don't write like this."

Darcy shrugged, looking totally unrepentant. "He's new to this, he's got to text like a newb."

Jane fixed her assistant with an incredulous look. "It looks like a fourteen year old is writing these."

Thor looked concerned. "Are my words ill-writ? Lady Darcy assured me this is the way that such machines communicate."

"Darcy likes to stretch the truth," Jane replied dryly. She poked a finger in Darcy's direction. "Stop it. And you," she turned to Thor. "Double-check her recommendations. Now I suggest you write a few apologies to your friends." She held out the phone for Thor. "No l33t-speak," she warned.

"What speak?"

Darcy threw up her hands and made a frustrated noise. "Weren't you listening?"


Sent to Multiple Recipients: Friends I have been informed that my lessons in proper text writing were in error. I send you my apologies.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 14th, 2014 10:15 pm (UTC)
That last text, though! Hee!
Sep. 14th, 2014 11:03 pm (UTC)
*snorts* Glad you enjoyed :)

I needed a warm-up. I have a bit more to write for my Avengers fest fic. x_x
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )